Sunday, March 20, 2011

BY CAROL PERONE - WIDOW OF A VIETNAM VETERAN: On November 5, 2006 our family witnessed a nightmare


On November 5, 2006 our family witnessed a nightmare.
The day you lose a loved one through death can never be imagined. It is still a blur of emotion reliving the day I was told by my husbands doctors that he would soon die from Stage 4 Cancer.
This diagnosis turned our family's world upside down. The foundation and pillar of our family was no longer able to tell us that everything would be alright.

The following year was a war Flory fought harder than anyone I've ever met. The strength he showed through all the treatments, pain, and negative tests gave his children courage, dignity, and showed them how to cope with issues that they may come to face in their future. Most of all, he gave them the strength to succeed. When my children were younger my husband would always share his view of the "American Dream" with them. He always set in stone the idea that nothing was out of reach for them, as long as they were willing to work hard.
Being a veteran in the Vietnam War, he had high hopes for his family and himself.

Flory's strength to survive allowed him to share his journey, however, brought much grief to our home due to his illness. Flory saw the prosperity around him; I remember the nights he would come home and wonder when God would open new doors and opportunities for us. In our society his dreams can be labeled as modest, but to him they were a defining aspect on the story of his life.


Today many see the house with a white picket fence as a prime example of becoming successful in our society, but to Flory, having a home we could call our own was paramount. He grew anguished to tell our children that the rent had gone up or the landlord was selling and we would have to move. Moving became an almost annual event in the Perone household. With each box that was packed, he lost a little more of himself. Through it all, he carried tremendous guilt at the negative effects of a war he fought so valiantly.
These effects, which would leave some of his children with crippling health problems, he could never have known that his past would come back to haunt not only himself, but the ones he desperately loved.

My son was born with a rare tumor that would cost him an eye. Down the list there are several evident problems with my children. Some of these problems include: heart murmurs, facial aphasia, venous malformations, kidney tumors, degenerative bone disease, and benign osteo tumors. With all the problems they have had to face, my children have never lost their courage and ambitious drive. I believe this comes not from the genetics of my late husband, but rather from the legacy he left for them to carry on.


Flory never let his children lose their love of country, even though it hurt him dearly to know he fought for the flag that flies today and never obtained the American Dream.
Recently, my husband was granted a 100% service connected death.
Although it is a tiny compensation for the grief, anguish, and pain we as his family have endured, it gives uS pride to know that Flory served his nation and headed the call of freedom that still shines brightly around the world today.
It hurts to know he will never see the effects of his illness, nor will he see his children grow into adults and witness the accomplishments they make.

Many individuals take owning a home, family events, and other tiny things for granted. I can confidently say that my children will always remember their father's legacy, not for the material things they were given, but rather the lessons and love he so generously gave them. To my children, the last name Perone is not just another name, but rather an individual who stood for everything he believed in and valued.
Today, as I struggle to meet my children's health needs, both financially and mentally, I no longer have my rock to lean on.
No one is here to carry me through the storms that life now has for me and I now have to face them alone.


My children are trying their best to honor the father they loved so much. Three of my children are pursing an education that my husband always preached to them about. My 22 year old son is currently serving in the Marine Corps and will be deployed shortly to Afghanistan. For my son, the only dream he had was for his father to watch him cross the parade deck at his graduation. To Adam, it was a way to show that the torch was passed and that he had made something of himself.
Sadly, my son came home from boot camp the day before my husband died.
Even though Flory could no longer talk, we know that he had pride for his son. My son said to him, "Dad, I'm home and I did it, I'm a Marine now". The tears my husband shed were a sign that he heard him.


At the funeral, it brought us all to tears when my son raised his hand and gave his father a salute that only months before they had been joking about. Today my husband's last duty station is Brigadier General William C. Doyle Cemetery where, like him, many heroes are laid to rest with honor.
The struggle I face every day is to keep a roof over our heads and to meet the medical needs of my children.
It will never diminish the hopes and dreams I have for our future. I still pray that my husband's dream will be answered and that we will be able to obtain a home our own.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I found this post purely by accident while searching for something else. I couldn't help but read it. It is very very touching and well written.

I don't know who you are, but you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. And thank you to all you veterans and their families for my freedom.